Monday, June 05, 2006

Today's Jackass: John Jacob

At a recent event involving Congressional Candidates John Jacob and Christian Burridge, Someone stepped forward to ask if they could take a photo of the two candidates together. John Jacob responded, "You're not going to put it in a gay magazine are you? (Har har har, guffaw, etc)" Charming. You can buy a seat in Congress, but you can't buy class.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't he really an elphant's ass?

6/06/2006 07:54:00 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

I think you meant elephant. I know that John is no donkey.

6/06/2006 09:46:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

john jacob jingleheimer schmidt!

6/06/2006 12:42:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So he's uninformed and a bigot too!? This guy doesn't seem to stand for anything and what I do hear from him is stuff like this!

6/06/2006 01:01:00 PM  
Blogger Oldenburg said...

Guess now we can start the Gay rumors

6/06/2006 01:31:00 PM  
Blogger sarahbellum said...

anon: the same little childhood song is too running through my head, and by head i mean i'm singing it loud and proud!

6/06/2006 01:33:00 PM  
Blogger theorris said...

Nah Nah nah nah nah nah nah.

6/06/2006 02:07:00 PM  
Anonymous John marlor said...

Great flying frogs from the moon what choice do the poor republicans have dumb or dummer?

6/06/2006 05:31:00 PM  
Anonymous John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt said...

1. Immigration: As your congressman, I will introduce and promote legislation that will effectively control our borders through increased funding for enforcement, technology, equipment, personnel and the necessary infrastructure to house and process illegal immigrants for return to their country of origin. I will promote that legislation which is sufficient to secure our borders as a matter of national security.

(But what will I do to the businesses that bring those damned brown skinned bastards in, or how will I bring up minimum wage to a living standard? I won't, har, har, har! And you can forget about IRAQ or HEALTHCARE! The truth is I could care less about immigration, but it brought me to the primary!)

2. Education: As your congressman, I believe that America must be a nation in which every child excels. We must immediately cease the dumbing down of curricula, which purpose creates a false belief that all is well with our children. I will work to change No Child Left Behind to secure state's rights in this matter and to allow educators the freedom to lift our children's intellect, skills and ability to assure their success in our ever-changing world.

(I will make sure that my other rich buddies get richer by giving your tax dollars to private schools.)

3. Energy: Utah, Wyoming and Colorado have an abundance of energy resources. I will work tirelessly to develop these natural resources with the goal of reducing and eventually eliminating our dependence on foreign sources of energy.

(This is how I'm going to get richer!)

4. Second Amendment: As I protect the Constitution, I will faithfully defend, as originally intended, the Second Amendment and the right to bear arms.

As your congressman, I will use my business skills and every other ability I possess to be successful in this cause. I promise to be accessible to all members of our district. I will make use of communication and technology to keep you fully informed of my work in your behalf.

I will hold myself accountable and promise that if I fail to keep these commitments, I will not seek reelection to this office or any other in the next election cycle. I look forward to your valuable input regarding every concern and hope that if you determine that this commitment and promise will best serve your expectations of a congressman, I ask for your vote and support at our state convention.

(The truth is we Republicans love shooting people! Even though no one is going to take your gun rights away, its another wedge issue and this old tired strategy seems to keep working! Damn gays anyways!)


John Jacob Jingleheimerscmidt

6/06/2006 08:46:00 PM  

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